I am a Detective
by 8. B. R. Adford
Summary: Shortie - When Lassie overhears Shawn and Gus admit that he's not psychic he must decide for himself if he is going to turn him in or let him continue working for the department NOT SLASH
1. Lassie hates Shawn Spencer

**Hello, this is my latest Shorty or Short Story the chapters are all really short rather than putting a horizontal rule between them. Oh well, it's all there either way.**

**I also realize that I have another story that is unfinished but I still planning on finishing it so don't worry crazy people who want stories done, it is going, slowly but going.  
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**I don't own Psych or any of it's characters, just so you know. If I did own it I would have made an I-touch Psych case rather than just an I-phone one  


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**I sat examining and writing up the report for the newest case. I didn't mind writing reports…although it wasn't my favorite thing to do, the thing that really peeved me about writing these reports were the ones where I had to write anything about psychics. It just seemed like a joke, a ridiculous joke. Shawn Spencer, the department psychic, pfft.

Finishing the report, I tossed it onto the Chief's desk and proceeded back to my own. "Spencer, out," I growled, as I noticed he occupied my now vacant seat.

"Oh come on Lassie," he smirked happily. Why did he always have to call me that? It was demeaning to be called by a dog's name.

"Out Spencer," I repeated, getting annoyed.

"You're no fun," the psychic smirked, standing from my seat before meandering over to Chief Vick's office and disappearing inside. I knew that he would be trying to weasel his way into another case but I had given up trying to fight him. Instead I sat back behind my desk and watched Shawn and Gus scatter around in the Chief's office through her window. Well at least they were gone.

"Detective Lassiter," Chief Vick called from her office with Shawn's head sneaking up from behind Karen's shoulder. I noticed myself grumble and walked to the office.

"So Lassie, we've got the case," Shawn smiled.

"What case?" I asked confused, "I didn't know anything about a case."

"Well you do now," Chief Vick replied, handing me the file. I spotted Spencer attempting to sneak a peek over my shoulder so I passive aggressively moved the file out of his line of vision. He retreated with a lost puppy dog look.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" the Chief snarled before turning back into her office and shutting the door behind her.


	2. I wanna go to Disneyland

Spencer and Guster somehow managed to find a way to the crime scene before O'Hara and me. He had yet to notice me behind him and I noticed him mumble something about how there was no way it was a suicide.

"There's a plane ticket to Disney Land," he whispered to Guster, "Why would she commit suicide if she was going to go to Disneyland?"

"It is the happiest place on Earth," Guster agreed. I rolled my eyes but couldn't help but think it was an interesting think to notice. I certainly wished that I had.

"Oh hey Lassie," Spencer smiled, "What have you found?"

"Not much…all signs point to suicide," I responded just to gage his reaction. He smirked his superiority before covering it up. He whispered something to Guster about shoe smudge marks before moving to the body. I found the marks he was talking about and glanced up to see him peeking around the body inspecting her arms.

Juliet, McNabb, and Chief Vick came in from the kitchen which curiously happened to be the exact same moment Spencer became a psychic.

"Ow, ow, no please. Stop, don't hurt me," Spencer screamed.

"What's going on?" Karen asked the room even though everyone looked to Gus for an answer.

"Shawn's having a vision. It looks like he's possessed by the woman's spirit," Gus explained.

"What does it mean?" Juliet asked; concern for Shawn evident on her face.

"I don't know," Gus replied, shrugging in shoulders and looking to Spencer.

"Come on," Shawn growled in a deep voice, making it obvious that he was changing from the victim to the "perpetrator", "Now or you die."

"Anything," he stated in falsetto, clearly back to the victim, "Just please don't hurt me."

"Who is he?" Karen asked urgently, "Did the victim know him, why did he kill her?" I sighed quietly, why was Karen falling for this, it was clearly an act…well I think, not that I'd ever admit that to Spencer.

"I've lost it," Shawn sighed, feigning exhaustion and collapsing onto the couch. I heard Karen barking out that this was still considered a suicide until they could prove that there was someone else in the house but that she wanted everyone searching for something to link someone to the crime.

I noticed that no one seemed to care about Spencer or Guster anymore and looked at them to see Shawn playing with her TV remote, it had been turned off by the officers that had arrived on scene but had been on when the victim died. I noticed Guster and Spencer whispering and decided to eavesdrop as I "investigated" nearby.

"Hey Gus look," Shawn stated, excited.

"What is it Shawn," Gus responded curiously.

"I was just flipping through her satellite guide on here and look all the timers that she has set for tonight and the rest of the week. Her DVR is even set up to record shows while she's in Disneyland."

"Why would she do that if she was planning to kill herself?" Guster asked, already knowing the answer.

"She wouldn't…this was murder," Spencer stated in a serious tone, like someone would on a cheesy TV crime show. I rolled my eyes but listened in closely when I heard Gus say,

"Are we gonna tell the Chief about this?"

"No," Spencer replied. My eyes grew wide in disbelief, he was going to withhold evidence, granted it certainly wouldn't hold up in court but he should still tell the chief everything he knew. "I'm gonna save it for later if I need it. But we are going to find about someone named Michael Brady."

"Who?" Gus asked curiously. I had to agree with his question but I couldn't ask as I wasn't supposed to be listening.

"See that box in the trash?" he asked, subtly nudging his head in its direction, "That's a flower box, but I searched the house and there are no flowers."

"So, maybe she put them somewhere else. Like at work or something so that all her co-workers would be jealous," Guster supplied.

"I thought about that so I went over there and checked earlier and the flowers are still in it. But the flowers are still slightly fresh and it's postmarked yesterday. It also had a card on it from a Michael Brady."

"What'd the card say?" Gus asked curiously.

"It said: I love you babe, be over on Thursday when I get back to town."

"So maybe she hates flowers. It is only Monday, so it can't be him."

"Maybe but then I checked her home phone…you know she has a really nice one. We need to get that kind in the Psych office. Maybe we can have hers, she's not using it."

"Shawn," Gus reprimanded.

"Oh sorry; anyway, I was looking through her home phone contact phone book thingy and the most recent 25 calls were all from 'Don't answer its Michael.'"

"What does that mean?" Gus asked confused.

"Well instead of it coming up as Michael, or Mike when he'd call her house it always showed up as Don't answer its Michael. She was warning herself not to answer the phone when he called."

"Well that's suspicious. Let's see what we can find on this Michael Brady," Gus supplied standing from the couch and heading to the door. I noticed Shawn wave goodbye to O'Hara and Chief Vick before heading out to that hideous blue car.


	3. The Brady Bunch

I sat at my desk, mulling over the information I had heard Spencer whisper to Guster. Why would they withhold information from the department? I knew they were stupid but to purposely break the law. I was going to see them rot in jail if it was the last thing I ever did.

I noticed Spencer come bounding into the station like a rabbit on crack with Guster walking cautiously behind him. "Hey Lassie," Spencer smiled, coming up to my desk. My eyes narrowed as I looked up at the lawbreaker.

"What is it Spencer?" I grumbled, not in the mood for his shenanigans.

"Well I had some information about the case. I was going to see Chief Vick about it. I already let Jules know. I was wondering if you wanted to come hear it too."

"I guess," I sighed, standing from my chair and followed the bumbling idiots to Vick's office.

I stood in the corner of the room, to avoid them hearing my laughter in the background as the idiots pretended to divine whatever it was they were about to divine.

"So I'm getting an 'M'," he stated, placing his fingers to his temple, "Yes it's the perp, his name…I'm getting an M. Matt, Mitch, Millie. No, that's not right. It's the story of a lovely lady who was bringing up three very lovely girls…all of them had hair of gold like their mother; the youngest one in curls."

"The Brady Bunch, Mr. Spencer," Chief Vick asked curiously.

"It's the story of a man named Brady. Who was busy with three boys of his own. They were poor men, living all together…yet they were all alone."

"I think that's four, Shawn," Gus corrected.

"I've heard it both ways," Shawn replied defiantly.

"Mike Brady," I supplied, tired of Spencer's off-key singing.

"That's it," Spencer yelled, looking at me a bit wary. How had I figured that out so fast? I could see the question written across his face, but it vanished as he turned back to Chief Vick, "The man in her house, he went by the name Michael Brady. I can see it."

"I did see a letter from her mother on the kitchen counter that mentioned a Michael Brady. I didn't think anything of it though," O'Hara admitted, backing Spencer's story.

"Is that all Mr. Spencer?" she asked curiously. He nodded his head yes. "Well let's check it out then people," Vick shouted, shooing us out of her office to get on task. I glared at the idiots before moving to my desk to review the results of the search I had already begun on a Michael Brady before Spencer had arrived.


	4. Don't Eavesdrop

I hadn't planned on standing outside the psych office but here I was, the car sitting just around the curb so it couldn't be seen from the front window. I felt like an idiot for doing this. I didn't really want to be here.

"I'm sensing that you're angry with me," Shawn commented to Gus as I stood just outside the open door with my hand on the knob that I had just turned to confront them on their illegal act of withholding information.

"You don't sense anything Shawn," Gus grumbled angrily, "You have to psychic to sense things." I froze, letting go of the door knob in the process.

"So what if I'm not psychic," Shawn replied, "I still solve crime."

"So what did you find out?" Gus asked annoyed.

"I went to the flower shop while you were out playing," Shawn explained slurping on some sort of drink that I could only assume was Pineapple, but I wasn't worried about that, I was only thinking about the fact that I had just heard Spencer admit that he wasn't psychic, I knew that I couldn't just use that as evidence against him seeing as I always knew that he wasn't psychic but if I went to the flower shop and used them as a witness…yeah that would work.

"I wasn't playing I was at my real job, Shawn. Now what did the flower shop people tell you?" Gus asked, tired of waiting.

"They told me that if you keep the flowers in the fridge they last longer."

"Everyone knows that Shawn," Gus commented condescendingly, "I mean what did they tell you that pertains to the case we're working on."

"Oh that. They told me that Mike Brady came in personally and ordered two orders of flowers."

"Why would he order two?" Gus asked curiously.

"I don't know, but I was thinking we could ask his mother."

"What does his mother have to do with this?" Gus asked annoyed.

"All over that girl's house were pictures of Mike and his mother. It was creepy. I think that if we go to the mother's house we'll find the other order of flowers and possibly Mike himself."

"Good thinking Shawn let me get my coat." I heard them coming towards the door and I bolted back to my car. I waited for them to leave before I started breathing again; I had them. Shawn Spencer was finally going to be out of my life and in jail. But something still wasn't right, so I started the car and headed home, my mind wandering.


	5. It's my fault

I somehow arrived at Henry Spencer's house. I hadn't planned on that. I sat in my car staring out at the house confused, why did I come here. I began to recall bits and pieces of things that the elder Spencer had said to his son and it all hit me at once. Henry Spencer knew that Shawn wasn't psychic, he knew all along. That was why I was here, to talk to Henry.

I left my car and headed up the front door, knocking twice before hearing Henry shout to come on in.

"What is it this time Shawn," I heard Henry yell from the other room, "I'm not helping you solve another case…figure it out yourself. I thought Shawn was going to Mike Brady's' Mother's house. "Well…" I heard Henry start as he walked into the living room that I was standing in. I didn't feel comfortable wandering around someone else's house.

"Detective Lassiter," Henry stated surprised, "I thought you were Shawn."

"Shawn knocks?" I asked curiously. It seemed unlikely that Shawn would ever use proper etiquette for anything.

"Gus knocks," Henry shrugged, "So what can I do for you?"

"Shawn's not psychic," I stated before I could stop myself. I hadn't planned on being that blunt about it but there it was.

"I hate psychic detectives as much as you do Detective but that doesn't change the fact that Shawn…"

I interrupted him, "I heard him and Guster talking. Shawn said it himself."

Henry sank down on the couch heavily, the dish cloth and glass he had been drying beside him.

"Why did he lie?" I asked curiously, sitting in the chair across from him.

"Why do you think?" he asked, almost angry at my question. He didn't wait for me to respond, "Because of you."

"What?" I asked confused, I didn't make Spencer lie. What kind of crap was this?

"You remember…the day he called in the tip," he wasn't asking.

"I guess, he was brought in for being an accessory to a crime," I shrugged, what did that have to do with anything.

"Yeah, he was probably acting like a smart-ass," Henry inferred, "and you threatened to send him to jail for the night." It took a minute of two for me to recall.

"I guess," I admitted, "But what…"

"He was **just** calling in a tip," Spencer clarified, "Shawn's smarter than he acts. He was little when we started."

My eyebrows furred together in confusion at that statement, "Started what?"

"His training. I wanted him to be a cop. The best cop; and I thought that if he could notice things from an early age it would just get better. He'd already inherited a photographic memory from his mother, he was the perfect candidate. Everything I did with him was a lesson on how to be a cop. Looking back I realize how much of a mistake that was. I was like a teacher, not a father."

I didn't know what to say to that so I just mumbled an, "I see."

"He resented me for it, ran off. But the skills I'd taught him all those years were still there. He'd call in anonymous tips all over the country just from noticing little things on the news for extra money. But this time it seemed suspicious and you called him in as a suspect."

The blood drained from my face. I made that idiot a psychic. "But why a psychic? How did he choose that?"

"I'm not surprised that he pulled that out of his hat," Henry admitted, "I come in to the station every once in a while, I've seen that cop who works there, she believes in psychics." I growled to myself, he was right. How did I miss that?

"She was probably the arresting officer wasn't she?" He asked curiously. I nodded, recalling how excited she had been when he shouted out psychic claims that came out true. "Once he had put the claim of psychic out there he couldn't retract it. He'd be arrested if anyone found out."

"So why are you telling me the truth then?" I asked curiously. Henry knew that I wanted Shawn gone.

"I told Shawn when this started that I wouldn't say anything but that I wasn't going to protect him either. I'm not going to lie on purpose to a detective who already heard Shawn admit it."

"So now I guess I'm going to arrest him?" I stated sadder than I had intended. Henry looked up at me at the inflection in my voice.

"Are you thinking twice about it?" Henry asked curiously, I could tell that he hadn't expected me to feel bad. To be honest I hadn't expected that either.

"No…maybe, I guess it's just that every case Spencer's assisted on has been solved; even the impossible Ying and Yang cases. I overheard him at the last crime scene though and he was figuring things out by observing not 'seeing' so I was already a bit suspicious."

"That's how he does it," Henry admitted, anger in his voice, "He notices everything but doesn't say anything until he can put on a big performance. He even goes as far as breaking and entering. It's a mockery of real police work everywhere."

"Then why do you let him?" I realize that Henry and I were the same in that respect.

"As terrible as this sounds," he paused, "I'm proud of him. He may not be the detective that I wanted but he's solving crime and using everything that I taught him to do it. He may not have a badge but I honestly don't know what he'd do if he did have that much power. I'm almost grateful he isn't a cop," Henry admitted sheepishly, "because then he'd be carrying a gun with him. Besides, we both saw him when he was attempting to go through the academy. That was a disaster." I nodded and we smiled at the memory. I was surprised that we were able to him the humor in it that we didn't see when it was happening.

"So, what are you going to do?" Henry asked me curiously.

"I don't know, I guess I'll see when he comes in tomorrow," I admitted annoyed at my wishy washy behavior, "But if I don't turn him in tomorrow then I won't period."

"Why?" he asked curiously.

"Because I don't need you to constantly be on edge that anytime Spencer annoys me I could just turn him in."

"Thanks," Henry smiled standing and patting me on the shoulder.

"I gotta get going," I replied, standing myself and heading slowly toward the door, "I've got a lot to think about."

"I'm sure you do," Henry agreed, "I don't want to sound self serving but I really don't want my son to go to prison." I nodded, I could understand that idea.

"You can't tell anyone I said this…" I paused as Henry nodded, "but I think it might be boring without Sp…Shawn around. More productive, but boring. Plus I've also got O'Hara to think about."

"Well, I'll be in tomorrow anyway so we'll all know your decision together." I nodded as I opened the door to the house and headed out to my car with a lot on my mind.


	6. My Decision

I arrived at the station with still no decision in sight. Spencer was sitting on O'Hara's desk as I walked in to the bull pen.

"Lassie-face," he smiled excited that I arrived.

"What do you want Spencer," I growled annoyed, "Go bother O'Hara."

"Jules isn't here yet," Spencer admitted sadly, "And Gus is in the bathroom. His breakfast sandwich didn't agree with him. So you got any new information." He started to come around behind me to look over the report so I handed it to him.

"See if you can find anything useful," I stated sitting in my chair before booting up my computer.

He glanced at me confused that I would let him offer an opinion before considering it a fluke and opening the file. "What's this?" Shawn asked curiously going over the autopsy report.

"The Autopsy report," I stated stupidly.

"It says here she was stabbed twice but from different angles in the same wound."

"Yeah," I agreed, "She probably fell from the first stab but she wasn't dead so he stabbed her again."

"I thought you said it was a suicide," Spencer asked with a sly grin, he caught me buying into his scenario.

"Well upon examining the evidence I…think you might be right." I winced as his smile grew wider.

"Oh might I?" Spencer asked, stroking his ego.

"Only about this though," I added.

"This and all the other murders that I've solved."

"Whatever Spencer, if you haven't found anything else then give me back my file."

"Yup, done." Spencer handed the file back before wandering over to the snack machine for a bag of chips. Why he was eating a bag of Doritos at 9:30 in the morning was beyond me.

As the station began to fill up with cops and detectives, Spencer began to get more excited. He was planning something.

Finally at 10:53 on the dot he ran at full speed into Chief Vick's office, falling over the desk pulling stacks of paper with him.

"Mr. Spencer," Karen shouted angrily, what on earth do you think you're doing." I followed O'Hara and Guster into the office, Henry already there. We exchanged glances before focusing back to Shawn who lay on the ground whimpering.

"What are you doing?" Shawn screamed in the same falsetto voice he had used for the vic at her house.

"You threw my flowers away," He shouted in a low voice.

"We're over," she sputtered. Now Spencer stood, a low growl emitting from his throat. He grabbed a pencil out of the Chief's pencil holder.

"We're over when I say we are," he snarled, stabbing the ground with the pencil. He pulled the pencil out of the invisible body nervously muttering, "Fingerprints."

He grabbed the empty bag of Doritos out of his pocket and wrapping it around another pencil before grabbing it and stabbing the floor in the same place, this time leaving it in the floor. I was honestly surprised it stayed.

"Mom'll know what to do," he stated before collapsing into the chair beside him.

"Mr. Spencer are you suggesting that Mike Brady killed our Victim and stabbed her but took that knife with him and stabbed her with another knife to cover up his fingerprints."

"It makes sense," O'Hara supplied, "I noticed that one of the knives in her knife block was missing."

Spencer smirked, proud of himself, which angered me so before I could close my mouth I stated, "Chief there's something I need to tell you."

Henry eyes grew wide but then went back, he was surprised and sad but knew what was coming.

"What is it Detective?" she asked curiously. It was right then, with all eyes on me, and Henry looking so sad that I realized that I couldn't do it.

"I need to take off next week Friday for a doctor's appointment."

"Detective this is not the time to discuss this," she looked at me like I was a complete idiot. She wasn't far off from how I felt.

"Don't you mean Vet visit Lassie?" Shawn smirked at his quip.

"Don't push me right now Spencer," I growled annoyed that I had just saved his ass.

"Stop talking, get going," Karen shouted shaking her head and talking with Henry in whispers as we left the room.


	7. Teaming up?

I stood outside Mrs. Brady's house, O'Hara slapping cuffs on Mike, the knife in the dishwasher with specs of blood still on it. Guster was standing next to the Blue Echo looking bored and nervous at the same time.

I turned to Spencer who had ended up about four feet from me in the front yard, "I had a talk with your father."

"Alright," he replied confused at my statement.

"I talked to him last night after I heard you and Gus talking." Now he looked more confused, "I heard you admit that you weren't psychic." His eyes doubled in size but he tried to look calm.

"What? Lassa-frass we both know that I'm psychic."

"So I went and talked to your dad, he explained everything. I'm not going to turn you in."

Now the surprise wasn't suppressed as he looked at me with confusion, "Wait you…" he brought his voice down to a whisper, "know I'm not psychic and you're not going to turn me in?"

"No, but you have to tell me what's going on from now on. No more of these secret break-ins or anything."

"So do you want to come with us to visit Despereaux?" he asked curiously.

"What?" I asked annoyed.

"We're good friends, his birthday is Thursday. I baked him a cake with a nail file in it if you want to come. You'll have to wear a little cone hat though."

"Nevermind, I don't really need to have anything to do with you solving cases," I muttered before going to make sure that everything was all set before heading back to the station.


	8. Sequel

New Story for anyone interested...

**You are a Psychic?**

Synopsis: Sequel to "I am a Detective!" With a new case, Lassiter and Shawn team up hoping to use his photographic memory to help solve it.


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